The other day I posted this photo collage of Baby Roland eating ice cream on my facebook page:
I chose the collage template from an iphone app. This template had the correct number of photo spaces that I needed, and it said “today is a good day.” “Oh, that will be cute,” I thought, “an adorable baby enjoying an ice cream cone with that caption. How perfect!”
But I am here to tell you that it was NOT a good day.
I said I wasn’t going to sugar coat things in this blog, and I won’t. The day SUCKED. Some days are just plain hard.
It had been a busy few days leading up to Saturday. Lennon has started going to karate classes, which we are all really excited about (and I plan to post more about later). He had karate on Thursday evening and was too wound up to go to bed afterward. The next day, he had a long day at school, and then we picked up Juliette from therapy and went to McDonald’s (a weekly routine that is really important to Juliette), and then Lennon went back to the karate dojo from 6:00-10:00 pm for a “Disco Dodge Ball” fun event. Again, he was overstimulated from such a busy day, and was up very late.
Lennon has never been a “good” sleeper (if you knew him as a baby, you know that is a huge understatement….to put it mildly, the child NEVER SLEPT). He still has sleep difficulties now, at age seven. When he doesn’t get enough rest, his functioning really suffers.
Saturday was a rough day from the start. Lennon was tired and surly. It was “family day,” and Jacob’s only day off all week after working a lot of overtime hours. We wanted to take the kids to do something fun. Juliette had therapy from 9:00-2:00, and Jacob was going to sleep during that time. For that entire 5 hour interval, Lennon badgered me about what we were going to do. I know he has a strong need to know “what the plan is,” and I am the same way, so I totally get it. However, life doesn’t always work that way. I didn’t know what the plan was, and wouldn’t know until Jacob woke up and we decided what we wanted to do.
Lennon wanted to go bowling. We had signed up for this “Kids Bowl Free” program (which is really cool, by the way, check it out here: http://www.kidsbowlfree.com/) and we hadn’t taken advantage of any of our free bowling games yet. However, a quick phone call to the bowling alley informed us that they didn’t offer the Kids Bowl Free promotion on weekends. Lennon was devastated. He gets very fixated on ideas, and he just could not let this one go.
We did come up with an alternate plan (going out for ice cream), but the day just continued to go south. Meltdowns galore. Suffice to say it was NOT a good day.
You never know what people are going through. A seemingly “perfect” picture of a seemingly “perfect” family could be something else entirely.
I have kept my struggles related to my own autism under wraps for years, putting on the “perfect” facade, and it nearly killed me. Literally.
So this blog is my safe space to say, hey, I’m FAR from perfect, and that day was NOT actually a good day.
But I will never give up. I will never stop trying to better myself, and be the best mom I can be. Maybe tomorrow will be that “good day.” 🙂