I wish I had something poignant to say today, but my brain can barely form a coherent thought.  I’m basically in survival mode.

The holidays can be extremely difficult for those on the spectrum.  I think this year, I had the hardest time out of any of us.

Immediately after Christmas, a stomach flu made the rounds at our house….and I have emetophobia (fear of vomit), so taking care of sick kids causes me intense anxiety.  I not only ended up getting sick myself, but had a panic attack so severe that I had chest pains, couldn’t breathe, had numbness in my arms and legs, and my fingers locked up and I could not move them at all.  I legitimately thought I might be having a heart attack, seizure, or stroke.  Jacob called 911 and I was rushed to the hospital.  It was quite the humbling experience, but nothing a little rest, some IV fluids, and anti-nausea medications couldn’t take care of.  It was encouraging to see my whole family come together to help me in a time of need.  I’m very grateful.  ❤

Between the holidays, illnesses, and the kids being home for two weeks for winter break, I am just….done.  Done with people.  Done with stress.  Done with talking.  I want to crawl into a cave and not come out for at least a day or two.


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